Mansplaining

Quora Answer : Why is it acceptable by some feminists to educate men on how they behave, think and feel, but the reverse is considered 'mansplaining'?

Jun 22, 2016

This is actually a good and subtle question. Because, of course, if it's legitimate for feminists to criticise (some) men's attitudes and treatment of women, then it should also be possible for men to criticise some women's attitudes and treatment of men.

That is also perfectly fair and legitimate.

What is problematic about "mansplainin" is, as Lilith Piper MacKinnon says, is that it's done in a particular context and power-structure. Where there's been a long history (thousands of years) of men telling women how to think and behave, enforcing those rules with everything from physical violence (men beating their wives, the stoning of adulterers, the burning of witches), to institutional restrictions (women not being allowed to own property, not having a vote, not being expected to apply for or work certain jobs), to intellectual framing (male psychologists defining women's mental health as the norms they approve of)

Mansplainin is too often the attempt to defend and perpetuate that power-structure without taking on board the feminist criticism. It's a knee-jerk reaction, to start talking back and complaining about the feminists without listening to or engaging their argument.

There's nothing wrong with men who do make the effort, do listen to feminist criticism, and then formulate a measured and honest counter-argument or defence against it. Obviously observing the usual rules of any political debate, to be polite, to be honest, engage your opponent with good will, not to make ad hominem arguments etc. If you do that, I believe you have the right to criticise feminism, to push back, offer a different perspective and explain the male experience in the expectation that feminists will take it seriously

What's not OK is to want to "get your defence in first". To use your "counter"-argument to stop the feminist criticism being made 0r heard or thought-about in the first place. Either by yourself or by others. That is what "mansplainers" often try to do. Criticise the criticism in order to shut it down altogether. To make the conversation about how those terrible feminists are not listening to them to deflect attention from how they aren't listening to the feminists.

We have a long history and cultural tradition of men's voices being heard and women's voices being ignored. It's right that take note of this history and try to correct for it by making an extra effort to listen to women's voices and to think about what they tell us. That means making ourselves open to feminist criticism. Having corrected for that bias, we ARE still allowed to push back and point out when some feminists may be making a mistake, crossing a line, over-stating or being unfair. And I'd expect other feminists to accept counter-arguments that are well made with equally good will.

But 99% of criticisms of feminism don't get anywhere near the required standard .